I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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