so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
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Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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