before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize