Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize