The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize