her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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