He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
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I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How does one acquire holy water?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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