Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have aggressive nipples.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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