puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
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We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
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Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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