I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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