Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize