Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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