All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
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Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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