Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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