why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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