Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize