pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize