i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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