Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
my poor anus
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize