Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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