I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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