Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
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RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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