I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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