You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize