he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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