just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize