sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize