dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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