i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize