Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize