After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize