if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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