problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
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I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
did i just pee glitter
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