Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize