So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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