Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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