I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize