I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize