I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think my moral compass just broke
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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