I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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