Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
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She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
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He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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