I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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