Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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