remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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