Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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