i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize