Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize