hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize