shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize