Someone shit on the floor
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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